Have you ever watched one of those romantic movies with a suave, charming protagonist that everyone finds irresistible and wished you could have their confidence when it comes to romantic relationships? Well, here’s the good news: confidence is something you can gain! While some people reach adulthood brimming with self-confidence, and some are a bit timider, you can train yourself to increase your confidence levels in your romantic relationships. Here are some tips on how to go about it.

Make a list of your qualities

The first step to feeling more confident in your romantic relationship is to remind yourself of everything good about yourself because these are the qualities that will also appeal to your partner. If you were taught as a child not to ‘brag’ or not to focus on yourself, it could feel strange at first to think about your own qualities, and you may even feel guilty about it. If that’s the case, keep going! You can also ask a trusted friend to tell you what they like about you. Knowing this information will help you feel more confident, and when you next have an interaction with your partner or potential partner, you will be able to remind yourself that you are a good person worthy of being loved and appreciated.

Don’t be afraid to try new things

If you’re not very confident in yourself, you might be tempted to stick to a ‘tried and tested’ routine when it comes to dates, gift-giving, and sex. However, taking the plunge to shake things up will add some excitement to your relationship, and even if you are feeling nervous to begin with, your confidence will increase the more you try new things.

Do you fantasize about having sex on the beach, using strapon harnesses, or gifting your partner some sexy lingerie for their birthday? Just go for it! Talk to your partner about what you would like to try out, or just surprise them—making sure, of course, that you have their enthusiastic consent before engaging in any sexual activities.

Stop comparing your relationship to other people’s

When you have friends who are also in a relationship, whether it’s a long-term one or a short fling, it’s tempting to compare notes. If you are struggling with your self-confidence when it comes to relationships, however, you need to stop doing that! If your friends’ relationships sound better than yours, you will probably end up thinking that you’re doing something wrong, and if a friend discovers that their partner cheating on them or lying in some other way, you might start worrying that the same thing is going on in your relationship without your knowledge. In reality, all relationships are different, and you won’t be getting the whole picture from a brief conversation with your friends or, worse, from scrolling through their social media feeds.

Trust your partner

Finally, building a trusting relationship between yourself and your partner will do wonders to improve your confidence. Be realistic about whether they have given you a reason not to trust them, and if they haven’t, assume that they are trustworthy! You will both feel much happier and freer that way.